Confusion and Thanksgiving

LOL - what a funny title for this post! But just wait...you will see what I mean.

It is amazing how fast something you think is going to be good changes into something you are not sure you want to get further involved in/with/etc. Now I have another decision to make - is it worthy cause for me to "nip things in the bud" or do I consider it as something that happened in the past, keep an open mind and see where things go? I once had a chat with my aunt about someone else – someone I thought I was destined to marry – and she posed a question regarding how I would let the guy’s past with other women affect my relationship with him. For him it was easy – the past is between him, her and God and nothing to do with me. It was easy because I already loved him with all my heart; nothing was going to keep me from a fulfilling relationship with him. Well, nothing that is until I found out “her” had become his wife! So much for destiny. So, now I know something, thanks to a reliable source, about this new possible someone that really turns my stomach, and it is in the same vein as that which I discussed with my aunt about “destiny boy”. The decision is harder for me because on the one hand it is just disgusting and should never have happened, but on the other it has nothing to do with me directly – it is between him, her and God. So, why do I now feel even slightly hesitant about getting to know “new boy” better? I value the sanctity of marriage very highly...unfortunately, this world, does not. I wonder if I expect too much to find someone who values it as highly and has done so consistently throughout his past. I wonder if it is unfair for me to even consider not considering a possible relationship with someone based on a choice he made at least once in his past. Part of me says "Yes! Of course, you expect too much and it is completely unfair! God practices and teaches forgiveness and so should you!" and another part of me says, "Hell no! Why would God want you to be with someone who has not kept himself pure for his future bride?!" So, you see my quandary.

More confusion...was I right to enroll in the graduate program for Hospitality Administration at SFA? My brain feels partially dead as I struggle to do the first homework assignment in one of the classes. I just cannot seem to grasp what it is I need to write. I understand what the professor is asking for, but it is the answer that eludes me. The angle to approach it from, the way to start...it scares me because this is a simple homework assignment. If I cannot handle this, how will I ever be prepared for this class's final? Or the multiple papers I have to do for the other class? I wonder what I have gotten myself into this time.

Continued confusion...should I still consider the Air Force option? If not, what type of job should I look for? Should I move to Virginia as my dear college friend urges me (more often lately) to do? I wonder if perhaps the change in scenery may help with this unsettled discontented state I am currently in. Hmmm...it would not be permanent. If I did not like it I could move back to dear old Texas and would probably appreciate my home state even more after experiencing life elsewhere for a time. But that brings me back to what type of job to look for...

Now, to the thankful part! Beauregard is finally doing better! It has taken more resources than I currently have (literally), but thankfully the vet is letting me pay it out as I can and God continues to provide. I am seriously considering an attempt at some Bingo in the near future, though, to try to supplement that provision, LOL! Maybe I should try to donate plasma. Then, again, that probably would not end well, so I will have to think of something else. I hope to have some things in my grandmother's upcoming garage/estate sale; I am praying that some of my things actually sell. Of course, I need to make time to go through my stuff so I can decide what I'm going to sell - LOL!

Another reason for thanksgiving - my great-aunt was in an accident tonight, but appears to have survived without any serious injuries. Praise the Lord! She lives a very short distance from her destination, but she missed the drive into the business' parking lot and was therefore in the wrong lane of traffic. While attempting to get into the correct lane she was t-boned by a pickup truck. The weird part is that a friend and I saw the aftermath of the accident as we were going through a nearby intersection shortly around 5:45 p.m. All I saw were the cop lights and the traffic built up around the site of the accident...my friend saw a truck sitting at an odd angle. Even if I had seen more, I doubt seriously I would have recognized my great-aunt's car. I know it is a Ford, but the model...no clue. Anyway, I am thankful to know that she is okay and I hope this is what convinces everyone that she does not need her car anymore!

I am also thankful for the Relational Intelligence series my church started tonight, but I will save that for another post.