Taking Risks

I am frustrated. Confused.

Have I made so many poor decisions in the past that I cannot even pursue an interview without people warning me to "think hard, pray hard" about it before giving up my current job? Do they think I would quit before actually receiving an offer? Before being certain that it is something better for me?

Better pay.

Better experience.

Better related to the degree I worked so hard for...

It makes me doubt something I was so certain about just minutes earlier. Am I actually risking my current stability just by attempting to get an interview?

People who have known me longest advise me that I am - that it would be a mistake. Yet people I have known but a short time see an untapped potential in me that is trapped just as much now as it was in East Texas and advise me to pursue a better opportunity when one comes along.

My heart jumps to do so.

I have so much to do, to give. I have so much room for growth that has thus far been stunted by the limited circumstances in which I have allowed myself to settle.

I am tired of settling for what is available at the moment.

I am tired of not challenging my mind.

I am tired of not reaching my potential.

I am tired of the mediocre self I have been.

I am tired of never taking risks. Though some credit is allowed for uprooting myself so suddenly and moving to Dallas...that was pretty risky and definitely out of my comfort zone.

So, I thank you all for your concern, but I am going to do everything in my power to get this position. If the answer is "no" I will accept that as God's will and stay where I am until things change.

I pray to God my confidence is bolstered again before I take another step forward because at the moment I am fighting the old feelings of failure and self-doubt that I have struggled with for so long.