Have You Ever Had That Feeling....

....that you were just sorta dying inside? Not literally dying, of course, but just the essence of who you are is dying? I feel this way. Every time I see a picture from something my friends did that I had no clue about (because why should they tell me when they know I will say I cannot join them), I feel more like an outsider. A stranger. But distance means mileage and mileage means more fuel consumption which means more trips to the fuel pump which means more money out the window. Once I get home it would be financially irresponsible of me to drive back into town. But, oh, how I want to. I want to be the "social butterfly" I was growing to be before my stupid decision to go back to school, making me a part-time employee, and therefore poor. I like being with friends. With people in general, really, though it is always better with friends. But, if you do not have the extra money to support the extra fun stuff, like eating with your friends every Sunday, it puts a kink in things. Or rather, it stops it like a cork in a wine bottle keeps the contents from flowing into a nice, beautiful flute. Okay, that was completely random considering I am not a wine drinker, but then again, you do not have to be a wine drinker to appreciate the utilitarianism of the cork nor the decorative beauty of a flute. Everything tastes better when sipped from such flattering stemware. Ugh. Moving on. It will be a huge relief when I find a way to solve my financial woes and I can start to have fun again.