Last night I was reminded, yet again, of that scripture in James that tells us every good thing, every perfect gift comes from our Heavenly Father. This time, though, in his prayer our Bible study leader pointed out something so obvious it would have bitten me if it could have...he prayed that he was certain most, if not all, of us in the room would consider finding our lifelong mate to be a perfect gift. It was as if God tossed a bucket of ice water over me saying, "Wake up! If you consider rain or good health or a roof over your head a perfect gift from Me, why would you not trust Me to provide you with a husband I have given you a desire for?!"
To say the least, it was an eye opener to my lack of faith in this area. If I believe in His omnipotence, omnipresence and omniscience (which I do), how could I possibly fail to trust Him in the area of relationships? Yet I have. If I have learned anything about myself this year, it is that my faith is rockier than I imagined and that I had been living more on the premise of "being good" than on faith. It is a hard thing to admit about oneself. I have been a Christian for more than half my life and I have endured a lot of ups and downs during that time, but I believe this year has tested me most.
In my previous post I mentioned that this past Sunday I began to feel a sense of restoration in my relationship with God. I have a long road ahead of me, but I am encouraged because I know He is teaching me, drawing me back and hopefully closer to Himself.
May the healing continue.
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