So Much to Say

I have so much to say, yet you would not know it judging by the lack of posts. I seriously cannot believe that August 18th was the last time I wrote on my blog. It is scandalous.

I have so much to say...but I do not have a clue where to start. Talk about frustrating! So, forgive me now as the rest of this post is going to seem random and long-winded...

On August 25th I started sharing five things I am thankful for every day. I share those things with an accountability partner who also shares five things she is thankful for with me. It is something special between us and something that helps to remind me of my many blessings. The challenge is to come up with five different things every day. No repeats! At first I though that would be impossible, but I have since been proven wrong. It was my accountability partner's idea and she pointed out that it really does not matter what five things I am thankful for, so long as I recognize that I am thankful. Does that make sense? It can be something as trivial as "I am thankful my outfit looks good on me today" to something as serious as "I am thankful my family's home did not get consumed by the fire nearby". Some days it is harder to come up with my list than others. Some days I have to wait until the evening before I can think of five things. The point is, though, that there is always something to be thankful for and as I know well "every good and perfect gift comes from above, from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow" (roughly quoted from James 1:17).

Since the beginning of August I have been working out more consistently. I had started a Zumba class that is now, unfortunately, canceled. However, now that the weather is finally starting to "cool" down a bit, I think I will be able to start running outdoors again. I have also started a few exercises at home with a stability ball and a couple four pound hand weights. Perhaps that will help me tone up a bit. It feels great to be working out again and I truly think that it is helping me feel better overall. I have not yet lost all the weight I have gained since April, but I think I am off to a good start. Incorporating more protein into my diet has helped. Also, I primarily eat salads at night. Spinach leaves, carrots, sometimes tomatoes and quinoa with pieces of grilled chicken and a balsamic vinegar dressing...I keep it pretty simple. Sometimes I have a little dessert, sometimes not.

At the end of August I became an independent consultant for Scentsy. Though it has been a slow start, things are starting to pick up somewhat. I have high hopes that it will soon begin to help me pay off my bills. Once the bills are under control again, I plan to use the income from my Scentsy venture for fun stuff and leave my paycheck to cover bills and living expenses. That is my goal....now to see it happen. You can check out my site, maryclinch.scentsy.us, to place orders. ;o)

The young professional singles' small group from the church I have been attending has started a Bible study on relationships. When I first heard the topic, I groaned inside. But after the first meeting, I can honestly say I can hardly wait till this Wednesday to see what the leader has to say next. I learned last week that "relationships" is actually what he does for a living...as in relationship counseling. I may start posting my notes and thoughts on my blog...I have not quite decided yet...but whether I do or not, suffice it to say that I believe I am going to be learning a lot.

The same group is doing a Sunday morning study of the life of Jesus. The book we are using in addition to the Bible is called The Life of Jesus: A Chronological Account from God's Word. It puts the story in an easy to read format without compromising the integrity of the Word. I recommend checking it out, if you are interested.

While I am speaking of religious matters...this past Sunday I felt a...stirring of restoration in my relationship with God. Over the past few months I have made some choices that I am not proud of and that have distanced me from my Savior. I recognize it as being my choice. God did not move from me, I moved from Him. I have felt Him beckoning me back to His fold and yet resisted. For once I was doing what I wanted and I did not want to give it up no matter how much pain it caused myself and my Heavenly Father. No more. I am weary of it. Pray for me...? I have a way to go. Though I am confident in His forgiveness, I need to forgive myself. I also need strength to resist the temptation to go down that path again because despite my weariness I now know without doubt the weakness of my flesh.

This brings me near a conclusion. I have just a few more things to say tonight. I praise God for keeping my family's property safe from the threat of fire. We spent a good portion of Labor Day preparing for possible evacuation. I found myself living the nightmare of having to choose what to take and what to leave behind in the event that we would have to leave. Most decidedly pictures became of utmost importance. The ones that are not replaceable. A few books, but heaven knows we could not take them all. Surprisingly, that is all that I really "grabbed". I dared not look in my closet and think about the memorabilia stored there. My heart ached at the thought of losing it, but in the end I realized that they are just material possessions that in all honesty I will be very unlikely to carry with me for long anyway. As long as I have my family, pets safe and sound, I would be fine. So more time was spent gathering the cattle into one pen, the horses and mules into another, the cats into the house and, well, the dogs were not an issue. We had both trailers hooked up so we could load the livestock at a moment's notice. Gran and Poppa were packed and ready to move into a hotel for as long as necessary. I tried hard not to think about the antique linen closet with the square nails, different hinges and so heavy that barely two men could move it alone. I tried not to think about Grandfather Clinch's grandfather clock, or as I dubbed it without thought that day the "Grandfather Clinch clock". It just goes to show how my mind was running in circles that day. I tried not to think about the beautiful dining suite Mom inherited from my paternal grandmother. Or the gorgeous mantel my daddy created. Or the piano I inherited from my maternal great-grandmother. Big things that I knew we would never be able to save and, for the most part, big pieces of our family history. So...yes, even though I know they are just material possessions that will never go further than this life, I am thankful to God for sparing us the heartache of losing them this time. The thought of losing them only makes me mourn more for those hundreds of Texans who have lost everything. God help them. Comfort them. Give them the strength and willpower to start over. Please continue to guide and strengthen the firefighters working so diligently to prevent more loss. God, have mercy on us and send us much needed rains.We recognize that every perfect gift comes from You and we praise You with thanksgiving for Your willingness to shower those gifts upon us. I pray we never take them for granted.

Thank you, friends, for your patience through this post. I believe it is much longer than even I anticipated. I will be surprised if anyone even makes it this far into the post, but for those who do, thanks for "listening".