Dodge

I have got to get the hell outta "Dodge". Soon. I seriously think I could liken my current feelings to that of being caught in a pit of quicksand. It is trying to suck me down and under...it seeks to suffocate me. The scary part is that I feel like it is succeeding. There are brief moments in time where I am inspired and motivated, but they are blotted out almost as quickly as they appear. So, yes. I need to get out. Problem is I cannot for the life of me figure out the details. The how, where, what (when is not the issue here - I want change NOW) elude me as succinctly as that husband I have so desperately wanted for so long. To be honest, an husband is the last thing I need considering the emotional mess I am. That is hard to admit. Maybe that will be the "kick in the pants" I need to get out of this mire in which I have allowed myself to become bogged down. As much as I would like to cast the blame elsewhere...there is nowhere, but my own feet at which to cast it. More bad news just a few moments ago has added to the disappointment and the desperation. I really just do not know how much more I can take.

God, what are you trying to tell me?! Some obvious direction here would be much appreciated!!!!