Overwhelming Love

Every little girl grows up dreaming of her "Prince Charming" and the life they will share together. Many times it is based more in fantasy than reality. As time goes by and my relationship with Cam matures, I see the truth of that more and recognize with more clarity how our society aids in this misconception of what a real relationship looks like. Two people, both sinners and therefore far from perfect, are incapable of having a perfect relationship. Two people, redeemed by God and seeking to keep Him at the center of their relationship, are capable of having a remarkable one.

Though my love is far from perfect (as I am), he is perfect for me. I never imagined or perhaps I had begun to doubt whether I would meet someone who would love me for who I am. Everything about me. For the good and despite the bad. For that reason, I sometimes feel completely in awe of how strong the desire is for us to be together forever. It just rolls over me in waves and it is all I can think about until I remind myself to just live for the day. Each day as they come. There is no reason to rush. There is no reason to worry. Just live each moment. Trust God and be content with His timetable. Savor making memories together. Never stop saying, "I love you." Always encourage and lift up. Always speak the truth, gently.

There are times when I am attacked with self-doubt - am I loving him well? Am I being as supportive as he needs me to be? Am I encouraging him? Am I smothering him with all my attention? To name a few - who knows what else has or will pop up next? The devil is crafty in the lies he feeds us to cause our doubt. There are times when I allow that self-doubt to take hold and then I become this insecure, needy type that I never thought I would be. Those are the times when I usually over-react to things my honey says or does and then it is just ugly for a bit. Until we mull it over and talk it out. Though communication is one of the most important things to me in our relationship, that does not mean it always happens with ease. It is work. He is so patient. He is gentle. Those things calm me. And it works. Is it weird that I have come to love even that part of our relationship? It can be hard and I usually get very emotional, but having him hold me close and speak normally (as opposed to distancing himself and raising his voice) in the midst of our misunderstanding and resulting conflict has its own sweetness to it.

It was not my intent to go there in this post, but there it is. Our relationship is not always rainbows and butterflies. Surprise!

This post is not meant to come across as boasting or preaching. My heart is  simply overflowing with love for God and the way He has blessed me in my relationship with Cam and with love for Cam. Sometimes that love overwhelms me with its strength. Overwhelms in a good way. Know what I mean?