Updates and Postdates

Random side note: I originally started this post months ago (June-ish) and for some reason or another never finished it. When looking through all my unfinished posts (now down to 16, lol) I stumbled across this one and thought what I had written so far was kind of...fitting, I guess, for today. I have highlighted the part written months ago in bold, mostly for my benefit. So I when I one day look back at old posts I will remember.

Do you know how long I struggled just to name this post?! Yeah, I know...not a clue, but I am sure by now that with that opening context clue you have figured out it was longer than usual. My blogging gears are rusty. Not because I have lost the desire to write. Not because I cannot think of anything to share...oh, boy, not even close! My heart and mind are overflowing with thoughts and emotions on a seemingly constant basis.

I have learned that some things are best kept to myself. Some things simply do not need to be shared. Other things need time to...grow?

As stated in my year-end review of 2012, it was a rough year. There are so many things I could complain about, stewing in anger and writing bitter diatribes. I will admit that I have vented to my mother, boyfriend, a girlfriend ...and at least one of my brothers on multiple occasions. (Gosh, that list is longer than I thought. Not comfortable with that.) At this moment I ask myself...what has that changed? Nothing. Has anyone benefited from it? No one. Ultimately, how has it furthered God's kingdom? It has not. Has it brought glory to Him? Again, it has not. Not at all. Not even close. In fact, I am ashamed as I think of the damage it is more likely to have caused.

How do I let go and forgive and move toward reconciliation when all I really want to do is forget and move on? The scripture that "all things are possible with Christ who strengthens me" seems so overused...but it is no less relevant or truthful than when it was first written. And then there is this from Matthew chapter six:

¹⁴ For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. ¹⁵ But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.

And this from Ephesians chapter four:

³¹ Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. ³² Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

And more from Colossians chapter three:

¹² So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. ¹⁴ Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.

There was a series at my church not too long ago focused entirely on redeeming conflict. You can find it here. I should listen to it again. And again..regularly.

Some time ago (sensing a theme here?) I read an article (unfortunately I did not document which article or where/how I found it) about ways to inspire and grow a more grateful attitude. The author listed multiple ideas and each included keeping a journal. So, that is one of my goals this year for my blog. To regularly (should I be more specific?) post about people, things, events, gifts...everything for which I am thankful. I am looking forward to it.