Week Behind Me

Have I been joyful this past week? Not really. Though as I look back on it, the week, overall, has a positive resonance to it. I have found much to be thankful for this week. It helped, too, that I actually got a decent night's rest almost every night. Granted it was drugged with NyQuil Cough, but most nights I was tucked in before 10-10:30 and would wake between 6-6:30 feeling ready for the day. I was not rushed to get to work and actually arrived pretty early almost every day.

One night I was able to let out some emotion and anger about the ex-boyfriend. I thought I had reached the point where I was sure I could be comfortable with just being friends...but I have not heard from him since our first text chat after the break-up, so I really have no conviction that he wants anything to do with me even as friends. The trust I once had for him has completely evaporated. He never seems to be or do what he says he is or does. And I have been told that it appears he is now flirting with someone else whom we met our last weekend as a couple. Telling, is it not? Anyway, back on subject. I was thankful to be able to vent the anger I was feeling to one of my dearest friends. She just let me go on and on without interference or trying to calm me down and when I cried she told me she understood and did not blame me for being angry and confused. It helped lift some of the load from my chest. God has been kind to open my eyes to things that bothered me about the guy. Things that I made excuses for and dismissed. Foolishly. In that revealing, though, He has brought me the comfort of knowing that it was nothing I did or did not do that caused the relationship to fail. If anything I simply put too much trust into this person too soon. God has also taught me through this that just because a person appears to be your perfect match it does not necessarily mean that he is.

I have much to be thankful for and I pray that soon I will start to feel joyful as I work to seek Him more and more for my fulfillment.