Overqualified

The last time I was not considered for a job because I was "overqualified" was when I filled out the application information at a JcPenney kiosk. Seriously? I really did not care - I just needed a job. It was incredibly frustrating that a computer would not accept my application. A computer turned me down. Talk about a kick in the pants.

Now the word is being tossed around again. This time by human beings, which is slightly more comforting. At least I actually spoke to someone this time. However, given the dire straights (slightly over-dramatic perhaps) I currently find myself in I cannot help but hate the word. I just want to get my foot in the door. Just hire me. Let me prove myself as I learn the company in a somewhat minor position and then when the opportunity for a position that I am NOT overqualified for comes open, I will be ready! Do I sound desperate enough yet?!

I have asked God my entire life for guidance. I look back today and all I see are a string of dead-end jobs and waste of an education as I took what opportunities presented themselves and tried to make something of myself, at least until I reach my ultimate dream of marrying and being a full-time mom. I cannot say that I have ever felt divinely directed. That is as frustrating as being rejected by a computer, if not more so. He said to ask. I have asked over and over and over again. He said we would receive. I am still waiting. Have I not had faith all this time as I thought? Was the faith I had not good enough? Do I still have any faith? Yes and no. I am tired of wondering. I have faith that God exists, in a Trinity no less. I have faith that at some point in my childhood I asked God into my life and became His child. But my life has seemed so random and pointless that I cannot honestly say I have faith that He has answered my pleas for direction. I feel like there is a huge disconnect between me and my God and I do not know how that happened or why or how to fix it.