ANTGMHU

You may be asking yourself what in the world that title is supposed to mean. I will tell you: Attempting Not To Get My Hopes Up. It is a new acronym I just created. Clever? Not really, LOL, but very descriptive of my current activity. Or at least the current activity that I am trying not to participate in by participating in many others...anyway.

I had a job interview this morning for an HR assistant position. It is a full-time position with a starting pay that matches exactly what I requested as "minimum pay required" on all my applications. Besides those two wonderful things, though, it also sounds like the job I have been searching for for a long, long time. In college, I never really thought one way or another about HR. I mean, technically it falls under the marketing umbrella, but unlike my obvious distaste for retail, I really never formed a definite opinion about it as a possible career. Today that changed. I really enjoyed meeting the HR manager at this company and I really like what she had to say about the assistant position. So, all that to say, it is hard for me not to get excited about the possibility of working there.

Unfortunately, I do not have any clear feelings about how the interview went. Did I do well or bad? Well, I always think I could have done better - provided better answers, asked better questions, asked MORE questions, etc. Could I have done worse? Probably. I really do not think I had a bad interview today. But gosh darn it, I really have no idea what kind of impression I made. I really do not have a clue if she liked me. So, thankfully, she shared that she is making a decision today and that I would know something by Monday. Which is comforting except that leaves all weekend for me to attempt to stay sane.

Now comes the hardest part of all...leaving it in God's hands. I recognize that I have no control whatsoever...but just because I recognize it does not mean that I do not struggle to relinquish the control I think I have despite my knowledge that I do not have it. Yes, that last sentence sounds incredibly insane and you may think that I have lost it already. Sometimes I think I have. Seriously, though, we all know that we think we have control to some degree when in reality we all know that we, in fact, do not. I am totally cracking myself up here. Back on topic, I am praying that if this is not the job for me God will comfort me through my disappointment, that He will renew my strength and will to keep looking, that He will continue to provide for me through my time of unemployment, and that He will guide me to the job/career that He knows will be fulfilling and purposeful in my life. He knows I cannot do it on my own. I am quickly recognizing, more clearly than ever before, just how pitiful I am without Him. It is God and God alone who sustains me.

So, now that I am on the verge of tears at the thought of not getting this job, I leave you to finish preparing for the picnic my friends and I will share at the Great Hot Air Balloon Race this afternoon. I am so excited to see these incredible devices up close for the first time ever! I will get to watch them get setup and "blown" up and lifting off and....wow! There will be a balloon "glow" (do what? I will have to tell you later because I have never been to one before, LOL) followed by a Stoney LaRue concert. Good times and I will hopefully have tons of pictures to share later. Later, gator!