My best friend and her husband are going to have a baby! I am so happy for Adele and Justin that I am positively giddy...mostly giddy. I am also concerned over how this will change our friendship yet again and I am fighting jealousy. That is the ugliness just lurking beneath the surface and I feel horrible for it. I do not want to feel anything other than extreme happiness and support for my dear friend. I do not want her to know about these negative feelings.
Dear Father, I just feel a need to tell you that I am ready for my "selfish" living to be over! I want to get married and start a family of my own! I know You know this and I honestly believe that You put that desire on my heart. I know that Your timing is best and I know You know that I am struggling with that timing. Please give me peace about it! Help me to stay focused on the here and now rather than the later! Help me to focus on my friend and her needs and not what I want and do not yet have. I love her and value our friendship too much to hurt her with these ugly feelings.
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